The Elephant in the Wedding Room
Weddings are all about two people in love willing to make a lifetime commitment to care for one another. Needless to say, marriage is an amazingly beautiful thing! Most couples would love for the ones closest to them to be able to cherish one of the most important days of their lives; however, it's not always the easiest thing to make happen. Family drama is notoriously known as being the ginormous elephant in the room when it comes to a wedding day. Unless you know how to tame it, it could turn possibly ruin everything you thoroughly planned for months and flip it into a disastrous mess. Ignoring the problem doesn't always work and not inviting your family could seem like a hateful decision that would cause even more drama, feel like a rock in a hard place yet? We will give you the best advice on how to avoid family drama on your wedding day. But first, what would an Elease Productions blog post be without a little dramatic story of our own!?
The day had finally arrived! The day to showcase all of the hard work conducted over the past several months. This day had the beginnings of a normal day... that is until the bride's soon-to-be sister-in-law arrived. You could see the anger in her eyes from a mile away! Apparently, she wanted to be the one to plan and coordinate this wedding day; however,the bride previously told her there's no way that's happening due to experiences in the past with her. Note that during this time, I was not privy of this information AT ALL. So now we had to deal with a seething sister-in-law that wanted to make things difficult. Moreover, the sister-in-law's temper tantrum snowballed into an even bigger issue... the groom's father disappearing just as everything was set to begin the ceremony! The music had started playing, everyone was ready in formation, and the next minute, he was gone! Guess he had enough of all the drama himself. The ceremony ended up being delayed a whole hour until he could be located! And believe me, these shenanigans continued for the entire day. From the sister-in-law telling people to make their way to the buffet to telling people to cut the cake... I mean IT WAS A NIGHTMARE!
Although not all situations can be avoided, there are ways you can be prepared. Make your planner/coordinator aware of any sensitive family issues. This will allow your planner to create a game plan on how to handle these issues professionally and promptly, and in such a way that it doesn't take away enjoyment of your big day! Here's our best advice on how to handle wedding drama before your wedding day:
1. Teamwork: When handling tricky family matters, it’s important that you and your partner work together as a team. Communication is key, all decisions as to who will and who won’t be invited needs to be unanimous, especially if the friction stems from a guest’s dislike of you or your partner. Don't invite trouble, talk out your feelings toward questionable guests on your list.
2. Engage the issue: Most of us would rather avoid having to discuss difficult relationships with the problematic guests; however, clear communication between them and you is very important. Reach out to them, explain your concern and the issue at hand in order to work out a solution. This is important when it comes to separated or divorced couples, especially when their new partners are involved. Some relatives may wish to be seated away from their former spouse or even decline your invitation to avoid being in the same room as them.
3. Take charge: Don't forget, this is YOUR wedding day! It’s up to you and your partner to make the decisions, even if they might seem difficult. If you need to have a hard talk with someone, whether it’s about being on their best behavior or not drinking too much, trust that as adults you can resolve the situation in a mature manner.
After considering all the advice above and the thought of having a certain person at your wedding is still unpleasant, then you may want to consider not inviting them at all or at least set some boundaries. Remember, it is your wedding and you want to enjoy only pleasant memories of your big day. Even if the person in question are immediate family members, there is no declared rule that you HAVE to invite them. However, do consider the implications of your decision beforehand.
Sweeping family drama under the rug is a dangerous move. Be open and honest about the issues and try to tackle them well before the wedding day! Your goal is to create a happy and care-free wedding! Don't let drama be the thing you remember most on one of the biggest days of your life.